An open letter to all spelling nazis

"Personally, I liked working for the university!

They gave us money and facilities.

We didn't have to produce anything.

You've never been out of college.

You don't know what it's like out there!

I've worked in the private sector...

they expect results!"



-Dr Ray Stantz

"Ghostbusters"







Dear spelling nazis,



You suck.



Nobody likes you.



And, in fact, I doubt you even like yourselves.



How could you?



Especially when your only bragging right is a worthless college

degree in literature and the ability to read an email and point out

every misplaced jot and tittle... yet can't write anything that

makes money to save your own life?



It's actually kinda sad.



I SHOULD feel sorry for you.



But I don't.



In fact, I take great pleasure in mocking you.



Frankly, I sometimes think it MUST be an act.



It's like these Hollywood actors who spout off inane political

nonsense -- they can't possibly be THAT stoopid, so maybe they're

just trying to impress their peers to get another acting gig.



But who are you trying to impress, spelling nazi?



You're certainly not impressing customers.



They couldn't care less about a misspelling or botched grammar.



Most of the time, they don't notice it.



(Unless they're a pathetic spelling nazi, too.)



If the ad/email is written the right way (i.e. by someone who knows

how to SELL and not just SPELL) the customer is too caught up in

the adventure to care.



It's no different than high grossing movies.



Take "The Avengers", for example.



Easily the highest grossing movie of 2012.



And, in fact, one of the highest grossing flicks of all time.



But guess what, spelling nazi?



It has more MISTAKES than any other movie this year.



Some anal retentive fanboys (the comic book movie equivalent of you

spelling nazis) actually wasted time putting a long list together

of all its continuity mistakes, flaws and problems. Yet, despite

them all... Avengers has made more money than these critics, their

friends and all their ancestors to the 10th generation have earned

combined.



I think I get it, though.



Why you're such spiteful pathetic little trolls.



You simply hate selling.



You hate "pitching."



And, when you see people making money with (GASP!) crappy grammar

and language-butchering words... it knocks you off your safe,

ivory-tower pedestal where you don't actually have to produce

anything in order to get golf claps from your peers.



You can't be a spectator and a player.



It's one or the other.



A player... plays.



And, ultimately WINS.



A spectator watches.



And, ultimately complains.



In many ways, spelling nazi, you're like the slob in the

stands dribbling hotdog mustard on his shirt while yelling at the

all-star shortstop with the .300 batting average about how he needs

to keep his head up when swinging the bat (even though the slob

spectator couldn't get a single base hit as a kid in little league).



That's a spelling nazi.



Annoying.



Obnoxious.



And, yes, pathetic.



Anyway, that's the bad newz.



The good newz is it's not too late to change your wicked ways.



To get your head out of your butt.



And, to actually make some salez.



Here's how:





1. Join "Email Players" today:



http://www.EmailPlayers.com



The first thing you'll get when you subscribe is a book with my

email methodology "spelled" out (holy shnikes I'm witty!) for you.





2. Follow my system





3. Start making $$ from writing you consider "bad"





It's easier than you think.



And, who knows?



You may even thaw out and have some fun...



Ben Settle









Ben Settle

Email Specialist

Settle, LLC

www.BenSettle.com



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